Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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