im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
