your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
