Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
