Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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