Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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