That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
