I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
What happened to fro yo and sex?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
