I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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