It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
