Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I have fence marks all over my body
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