I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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