I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
