I forgot how hot balto sounded
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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