Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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