Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
