We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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