OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Randomize
