I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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