are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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