6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
