I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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