I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
