It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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