just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize