This is not my ceiling
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Randomize
