WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
