oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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