Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
