yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
