you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
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Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
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She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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