so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
