I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
