Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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