All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
