just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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