she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
