ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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