So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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