Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
