thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
