what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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