The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
