I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
