Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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