Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I cannot find my penis.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize