i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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