You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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