with your own penis?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
