and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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