Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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