You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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