oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
