White coat. Heels.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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