Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
