I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
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You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
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Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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