i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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