you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize