is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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