the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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