I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
