He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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