girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize