Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
